I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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