She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize