Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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(801): View more from Utah

just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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(404): View more from Georgia

It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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(312): View more from Illinois

If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(951): View more from California

you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.

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(916): View more from California

It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.

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