I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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