Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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