So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
