you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize