i just wanna soil my oats bro
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
