I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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