Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
