well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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