I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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