Just fell off a train. Bad.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
