the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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