Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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