its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
