I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize