1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
