I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
