he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Damn victory sex feels great
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
