Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
