its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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