hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
