Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
