Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
