Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
