I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
