I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
