Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
