Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She announced her abortion via fbk
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
