it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
