what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
