so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
