Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
