No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
