I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
