Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
