So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
