Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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