i think my mom watched the whole time
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
