the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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