I have demons in me.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
