how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
