how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
