Do you still have your period?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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