It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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