I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
