Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
