Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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