Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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