you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
