8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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