i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
