I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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