Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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