God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
