Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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